I’ll Be The Cool Girl

It was late. Very late. The stars were already fading into the sunrise when Audrey snuck into her room. Tired, but exhilarated, she closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to come quickly. Behind her eyelids danced visions of all she had experienced in the last eight hours. Eight wonderful hours that never should have ended. She sighed, praying that this was one of the mornings when her mother would let her sleep late. She tried to fall asleep, but with everything so new and exciting there was no good reason to dream.

At seven, her alarm rang. Audrey was already wide awake and without a clue as to how she would stay awake through the day. Only twelve more hours she thought, smiling.

She dressed quickly, picking out an outfit she knew her mother would have to accept without comment. Dabbing creamy tan cover up over the deep circles beneath her eye, she hoped no one would notice she hadn’t bothered to sleep. She looked at the full length mirror behind her door. Audrey evaluated herself critically. She felt like a nun, wearing the high necked black sweater with its white collar. At least the new bra she had swiped from Marshalls pushed her boobs up. That was a plus. Her hips were too wide, and her middle just a little too thick to meet the images she had been bombarded with since an infant. She vowed no food today. She had to look perfect when she met him again tonight. If she wasn’t perfect, he wouldn’t love her, and she couldn’t live with that option.

The day was a blur. Classes, texts, books and bitches. The cheerleader crowd hated her, made her feel like a freak. Audrey wished she had magical powers so she could put them in their place, but wishing was all she could do. If they knew what she did last night, they would be in awe. When they find out, I’ll be the cool girl. But she knew enough to keep her mouth shut.

At lunch, she sat next to Cindy and watched as she ate her turkey sammich. It looked really good, probably because it had been two days since Audrey had tasted anything other than the half a piece of toast her mom made her eat for breakfast. Audrey looked away, trying to pretend that the turkey was really just poo on a roll as she drank her water faithfully.

After lunch, it was off to math class. She hated math, but at least Mr. Binet didn’t humiliate her like Ms. Grimsted had done in Spanish class. “Audrey, your essay about visiting the supermarket lacked proper tenses and any items of interest. Is it possible that your accent has gotten worse?” The whole class had laughed at her. Well, she’d show them. Someday soon, they would regret not knowing Audrey Trent. She checked her phone. There was a text, no name, nothing other than { > but that was enough for Audrey’s heart to start pounding faster.

She glanced at her watch. Two o’clock. Five more hours til she turned back into Cinderella. She yawned, but she ignored it as she watched the second hand make laps around the face of the clock. She was so fed up with school, why was it required? The only reason she could think of was to keep kids out of their parent’s hair during the day. Another half hour, then she could go home and take a quick nap. That should help. Audrey closed her eyes for a sec, and as soon as she did, Mrs. Dewell called on her, “Audrey, please explain to the class why the iguana is classified as a reptile.” Audrey stumbled on her words, trying to make her brain function, “Ummm. Like because it has scaly skin?” “Is that an answer or a question Audrey?” “An answer, Mrs. Dewell.” Mrs. Dewell nodded approvingly, giving Audrey a glare before moving on to the next student. Audrey breathed deeply and waited for the bell to ring. Two, one…ring!

She gathered her books and piled them into her knapsack. She had a ton of homework to do, and she knew it wasn’t getting done tonight. Throwing the bag over her left shoulder she bounced down the steps and out of the Junior High. Racing home, she put her key in the lock and breathed a sigh of relief when she realized she was alone. She dumped her bookbag on the floor of her room and jumped on her bed. Closing her eyes, thinking about the night before and the night ahead. She couldn’t wait to see him again, to feel all those things he made her feel last night. So what if she missed more homework, so what if her grades slipped. Last night, he said he loved me. He loves me. Me!!! I’ll show those eighth grade cheerleaders who the cool girl is. Me.

By: Lauren J. Walter June 23, 2008